So after a month of BS excuse after BS excuse we are finally told that we are going to be graced with MIL’s presence to visit her grandson. OK sure, I’ll believe it when I see it! Apparently she decided that she was going to come over last week when tiny human and I were away to visit, then got upset because we didn’t tell her that we were going anywhere. UMMM, I never knew that I needed your permission to go to my parent’s house! So a few days after our return, I am told that she is going to come over…. you know, to ensure that we are safe from our trip.
…….Breathe, resist punching MIL in the face!….
Flying to my parent’s is a 1hr, 15min flight. A puddle jump. It takes longer to get to the airport then the actual flight itself. Also, this is something that we have been doing quite frequently, but whatever.
I am advised that Sunday at 3pm we are to expect our visit. It is now 2:45 and I am getting anxious. I don’t want her to show up… I am angry and frustrated today and really have NO patience for her bullshit. 3pm comes and goes, and now so does 3:30. Anxiety slowly lowering as perhaps she will bail after all. FUCK my life! 4pm and there is a knock at the door… FUCK they showed up! Quick, slap a smile on your face and resist any punches or calling of any and all BS!!!
Come in and a weak fake hug later and everyone is sitting on the living room floor. Tiny human is VERY CAUTIOUS about these new people in his play space who are trying desperately to get into his personal space and touching him. He instantly crawls to me and climbs up getting as tiny as he can in my arms (he is a big boy, so this is hard lol). I know that my nerves do not help this situation either, but he these are random people to him also. We have to lure him to her by having her hold his polar bear and toothbrush (two current favourite toys) and even then it takes some time. While he is there he constantly looks back at dad and I to ensure that this is ok.
He spotted her watch as it is gold and shiny! Of course he tried to take it off, like any baby would do. It is small and dainty and a complete choking hazard to which I have to politely tell her to keep it on her fucking wrist and not let him play with it! Tiny human is standing now with toothbrush in his mouth and turns to try and walk back to me. Well HOLY FUCK BALLS BATMAN! You would of thought that the world was falling in with her reaction! Not because he was standing, not because he was trying to walk independently, but because he was standing with his toothbrush in his mouth and heaven forbid if he should fall and choke on it! She then proceeds to grab the toothbrush away from him and brush his teeth for him…. He uses it as a teether, and is getting frustrated as she won’t give it back to him! Dad actually pipes up and says “he does it HIMSELF all the time!!! He is ok.” She then responds with, “well, I just don’t want him to choke on it!” Maybe if you actually showed the fuck up you would realise that he is more than capable of doing these actions. He does them every fucking day and has done so for MONTHS!!!!! Let me repeat that …. MONTHS!!! So don’t treat him like he is a new born, he is 10 months old and is very independent.
Supper time is now quickly approaching and he is getting hungry. As I am in the kitchen chopping veggies for stir fry, I hand him a duck puff to tide him over. Panic ensues as he shoved it in his mouth!!! OH NO!!! HE is going to CHOKE!!!……. Now both hubby and I are telling her to calm the fuck down already! We wouldn’t give them to him if he couldn’t have or handle them. They dissolve almost instantly and it’s not like he isn’t also surrounded by adults. She has now said for 15 minutes that they are leaving. I’m thinking “great as I’m just about to plate supper and thus we can eat together like normal.” Throw that out the window. Hubby gets tiny human in his chair and tray on. I place diced veggies and meat on his tray to which he starts picking at. Well, this is now quite a hit show to see, especially since there is broccoli on there too. She flat out says she is refuses to leave until he eats his broccoli!!! She gets closer and leans in to force him to eat the broccoli when we have to intervene and say that he will eat what he wants and that is MORE THAN ACCEPTABLE!!! FUCK OFF!!!!!! He eats his beef, cheese, carrots, radishes…. etc… and is looking around trying to see how come mom and dad are not eating with him and why he is on display. She is right up in his face until he reaches for a broccoli spear. He is then freaked out and drops it because of the super loud squeal of delight from fucking grandma. I would be afraid to eat too! The only saving grace was that because he touched it she finally left. Dinner was eaten as a family like normal. Nobody was forced to eat anything or a specific bite to satisfy somebody else. If you were hungry you ate, if you were full you stopped eating. Simple as that.
Upon leaving, I had to resist punching as I had to explain again that NO I WON’T bring him to your house EVERY WEEKEND as it is more convenient for you. We can definitely do that occasionally, BUT by no means am I going to do it always because it would be more convenient for you when he will be miserable because you have no toys and still wouldn’t play with him.