The other weekend MIL came over (after bailing twice prior). I finally snapped. She brought a present for hubby for father’s day. That’s sweet I hear you saying, and to which I kind of agree….. if it came from her. NO! She hands it to J and says “say happy dad! and this is from you!” Yup, she bought a present for my oldest to give to his dad. And yes, it was specified from just J, not G too! 😦 Yup, she is clearly playing favourites and I will NOT stand for that! Several things happened this visit that just made me loose my cool because I can only bottle it up for so long I guess. Or maybe because it is effecting my fucking kids, Yup, probably that one! We all know that MIL is not the best of baby people, that’s ok, not everyone it. G is only 4.5 months old, but very solid. Yes, I know that he won’t remember that MIL didn’t play with him at this age, but that isn’t the point. J is 2 and thinks that it is only HIS grandma because he is the only one she will play with. She won’t even hold G.
Now J took it upon himself to start potty training. He is very good at telling you he has to go potty and runs to the bathroom (if you listen and watch him). I was upstairs in the bathroom and could hear him clear as day yelling potty!!! Hubby was in garage cleaning something and G was napping. MIL was the one playing with J. She has seen him do this several times prior. I figured she would follow him and help him take his shorts off……. think fucking again. Poor guy was doing the potty dance in the bathroom and of course didn’t make it. You could also see the look of disappointment in his eyes because he did everything right and nobody was there to support him. I cleaned him up and he runs with a new pull-up to the living room asking grandma for help. Her response was “oh you didn’t even tell me you needed to go!”
Next, J want to read stories in the chair with her. She has long scraggly hair, so I think you can guess where this is going… She keeps flipping it out of her way and right into J’s face. He in turn keeps trying to get it out of his face. In doing so, his little fingers get caught and she gets upset that he is “pulling her hair!” Are you fucking kidding me, you are blaming the two year old for you continually throwing your hair in his face??? YUP!!!
After playing outside in the mud and dirt, then then proceeds to walk all over the main floor with her muddy shoes…. Not amused at all! Yes, we don’t have any carpet, but that isn’t the point. Why??? It really isn’t that hard to slip your sandals off and bring them up the stairs to place them by the front door for your exit. This has again happened in the past and I just clean up after her. This time it got to me because G is desperately trying to crawl and is a freaking baby who puts everything in his mouth. NO, I don’t need him to be eating all the shit that you drug into the house thank you very much. I am not opposed to him eating dirt, that is freaking inevitable especially since we have two boys and live in the dirt. I don’t need him eating extra dirt! Also, why is it ok for you do do that in my house, and you loose your shit when others get more than two feet into her house??? Double fucking standard much.
Finally it is time for J to go down for his nap (typically 1-1:30ish and up between 3-4). She goes up and reads stories with him and dad, no big deal. Then comes back down and proceeds to ask when he will wake up. Hubby responds with, probably 4. She was in total shock and utter disbelief. She honestly was upset by it. I guess she wanted to hang out, expecting it to only be an hour and then to play come more before she started work at 4pm. Instead, she hung out with hubby until 1:40. Again, G has been awake for lots of this time on his own, and not once did she even acknowledge he was there. Only proceeded to talk about how much fun she had with J! She finally leaves and exclaims “that she says what a wonderful time she had playing with both the boys”……. ummmm you didn’t!
The next day I sent her a very polite text message thanking her for the visit but that going forward there are a few things that I would appreciate that she respect. Please do not buy myself or hubby any presents from the boys or just the oldest (which is typically the case). I understand that you were just being kind, but that it only confused the poor kid more and that it is our place as the parents to teach our children about gift giving. Secondly, instead of getting upset at my 2 year old for getting your hair stuck in his hands if you could please keep it up and away from his face (I have asked this one several times in the past). It is way easier for you to fix the problem! And lastly, please do not walk around my house with muddy shoes, especially where the kids play! I think this isn’t too much to ask for?